I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
