its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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