OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
