You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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