Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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