Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my being single is dangerous.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
