Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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