Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
