hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
please come you make the beer taste better
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
