I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
