And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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