well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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