I think I died a long time ago.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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