she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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