the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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