Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize