Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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