I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
