sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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