Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize