oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
