You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
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