Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
