Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
