I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize