Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize