Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
