Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
