You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
