I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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