i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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