Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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