I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
