morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They took my balls.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
