My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
