you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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