apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
