We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize