FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
