I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
