I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
