don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
