I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Even my vagina gasped.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
