I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
