oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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