capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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