besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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