I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dick very happy bro
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
