It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
