Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
