You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
