The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
