Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
