Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
