I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
