At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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