I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
