If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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