Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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