ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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