i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
