I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
