okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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