yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
