She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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